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Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Healing Journal: Prompt 5 ~ THE FIRST STEPS





Healing Art ~ I was blown off of my feet this morning as I had such a tremendously painful nightmare that I woke up shaking and in desperate need to hold onto my family (literally). I thought that posting these prompts was going to be easy, but I realized that God is still working on me and dealing with certain things that come up ~ so as I post them I too am still learning and still letting go. I pray we never stop learning.

TODAYS PROMPT: THE FIRST STEPS

There are so many steps in this life aren't there? Some days it feels like we are constantly walking up steps never to reach the top, or to look down and realize that we are still at the first step. How annoying is that?

I can remember being at that bottom step. I was laying before it completely drained of life, not sure I wanted to go on. It felt like a black hole was before the step and I had to crawl out of it before I could begin my healing. This was when God gave me words to write down. It came out in the form of a poem.

THE STEP

I was at a standstill in my life
when Jesus decided to rock the boat.
The ground was no longer stable
but liquefied beneath my feet.
I sank into the quicksand,
the distance to safety too great.
Darkness surrounded me
and brought sadness to my heart
that made my eyes water deeply.
No longer was only the ground unstable
but the walls too began to close in.
The roof started to collapse,
I was trapped inside.
In a dream the Lord brought a stairway
and led me to the bottom step.
He said I must lift my feet
to find safety.
I must take the first step.
When I awoke, with all the strength
left within me
I broke through the walls,
I walked through the quicksand,
I lifted the roof above my head.
Each step, knives pierced my body,
bones cracked and broke away.
Chains tightly wound around me
tore at my skin,
holding me back from reaching the stairway.
Slowly I moved forward,
each chain beginning to break.
The closer I came,
the less weighed me down.
As I lifted my foot to take the first step,
my body raised above the ground
and He carried me to the top.
With His love and guidance
I became stronger and wiser.
My love for him grew many heights,
beyond my imagination.
My eyes opened brightly
as He revealed His truth,
His light, and His love.
I could not live at a standstill.
I was dead in the Spirit,
life meant nothing.
It was time for Him
to reveal His plan to me.
Now my life moves on
in love, in glory.

Kelly L. Watts


In this prompt think of where you are right now... what do you need healing from? What things are you holding onto that could hinder your freedom? God want's to give us all the desires of our hearts, can He do this if we refuse to allow Him in? Do you REALLY want more than anything else to be free of bondage? Then you need to fight for it! Fight for your freedom! Work through the things you need to give to God and allow Him to take those things.

The pages I posted above were used in me to realize what I needed, what I was holding onto and one page was used to help me to see myself in a light that I could not quite reach. My counsellor asked me simply... what do you think about yourself? What describes you? When she asked me I was so numb, unable to feel anything. The last thing that I wanted was to think about myself. After much prayer this page came forth that described me the best I could at the moment. I had no idea how hard it was going to be to finish this page... but with God all things are possible and I found the strength to do so. So can you! Ask yourself these same questions and see what comes forth.

I pray the Lord works through you to bring healing in the areas that need healing within you. I pray that He brings you to those first steps and gives you the strength and the tools to climb all the way to the top. Right now it might feel useless to even try ~ but I am proof and God is our salvation. It is never useless when God is on our side!

Blessings to you.
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4 comments:

Lynn Fisher said...

What a beautiful post Kelly...(I'm visiting from Megan's)...I'm really taken by your vibrant pages and gorgeous words. Long may you blog!

Sally said...

Beautiful poem. I could almost feel your lightness.

CreativeMish said...

Love your poem!

Kelly said...

Thank you Lynn, Sally and Michelle for your encouraging comments. They came when I was doubting what I was doing here so thanks for the encouragement.
Bless you.