Thursday, June 28, 2007
My artist friend Alice (From Aliki's Art House) gave me this idea for a journal entry. She told me to write down the question "If I had unlimited resources, money, time... etc... I would..." You are supposed to write down your answers with your left hand. I was not so good at this. I am very particular about my printing, I become obsessed with the way it looks and have written things over numerously until perfecting it, including previous journal entries. I love writing with pen and paper, I love the way ink looks on a fresh sheet. Strange I know, I mean I salivate when I get a new pen!
After this entry I learned so much about myself and what I would do, what my desires were and how my longing to serve God is so much greater than my longing to serve the world. I also learned that I have to be okay with not being and having everything perfect. The world see's how much I have given up to come closer to God and my heavenly future and providing ways for my family to look to God and all of our futures, but I do not see it as giving up anything that I want to keep. I have given up vanity and pride and anger, lust and self seeking, self centeredness; to me these are not things that I want to have or be. This was a great exercise in learning about what is on my heart.
The different colors helped me to think about each answer as I was writing it down. It really helped me to focus on my answers.