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Sunday, July 26, 2009

Conversation In My Head



Over on Blissfully Art Journaling (a group I belong to) there was a one word prompt this past week called "Conversation". I thought about that for awhile before beginning this project and I decided to do this prompt on the conversations that go on in my head. I find I am always talking to myself (not audibly always - lol). I started by drawing my face and hair. I like drawing my hair because it is long which means a lot of space for writing my thoughts. The thickness of my hair makes me think that I am holding secrets beneath it, maybe this is the reason for my constant need to 'brain-dump'.

After I finished drawing my face and hair I wanted to color my face... I ran out of skin color in my markers and so I chose blue to represent what was inside my brain. I look more like a member of the 'blue man' group or 'Mystique' from X-men more than anything! I chose blue because even though I know my blood is red within my body my mind (thoughts) always felt like they would be blue if I could choose a color to represent them, probably due to my struggle with depression and attributing 'blue' with sadness.

I then wrote down my conversations that I was having with myself as the day progressed in "conversation" frames. When finished I felt somewhat superficial, like I had not put my heart into the piece... so this is when I began to go a little deeper as I wrote out my thoughts into my hair. For the background I picked out conversations that I had been having with myself lately... the book "The Artist's Way" that I am on chapter 6 now... has made me think about how I have self-sabotaged myself in ways that I didn't realize. I know it is always good to continue to learn and grow from life, but this lesson was somewhat painful for me. I didn't know how far I have gone to self-sabotage myself. Ways like procrastination, being unmotivated and giving in to doing everything else but my art or my writing. I discovered I have this fear inside me, fear of succeeding... or fear of failure maybe. I am going to continue to work on it as I painfully go through the process of finishing these lessons by Julia Cameron. Who knew an art book would be so challenging emotionally???? It's a good kind of challenge though. It will clear the way for God to get in and do His work in me.
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5 comments:

Melisa said...

Wonderful page, Kelly. I have conversations with myself more than with anyone else. Some of these same ones, in fact! Love the journaling in the hair.

Creative Mish said...

What a great journal page! I love all the conversations! I think I'll try this!

Mixed Media Martyr said...

Kelly, this page looks incredible! Like you have dug deep to get stuff on paper. Not just aiming to produce a pretty page. And it looks more intense as a result. You are great writing so much on your pages!

Lindart said...

I just LOVE this page!! So much journaling in several different ways, so cool! I love the glitter on the face, and all the random thoughts - it's like being in your head!

freebird said...

I have so many conversations with myself I am never lonely, lol! Your blue face is great. You dared to make one and you dared to admit it's due to feeling blue too often. The book is a good one for moving you forward isn't it?

What do you mean you thought the page would seem too superficial after your conversation spots were added? To whom? You or someone who might read it? It's Your page not someone elses so do it to please you and stop when it does. I have to admit though, that sometimes I forget I am making a page for me and not an online or family audience. The most I should worry about there is to keep it so my grandkids can look at my journal without finding "adult" matter in it as I DO want them to look at my art journal.