Thursday, March 19, 2009
I have been listening to Evanescence lately because a friend from the past brought it up and I hear it so differently now. I love their "Fallen" CD because it speaks to me on so many levels as when I first heard them I was in the deepest depression. It broke through barriers that were really hard to break through. They seemed to be calling out to God to help them, to remember them. One song in particular spoke to me, "Everybody's Fool" about someone pretending to be someone they aren't and everyone around them being in love with that person not realizing that the person behind the mask is not really who they think they are! For many years to hide my pain I would put on a mask as if everything was just awesome, inside I was a huge ball of stress and anger and depression. The person I used to be is dead ~ no more to surface again. Thinking back on the past lately has brought up old feelings and emotions that have put me in a very uncomfortable place. I do not ever want to be that person behind the mask again! God has renewed me and made me whole for the first time in my life!