I worked on this page last week and wasn't sure what it was going to turn into... then I went to Church and Pastor Phil was speaking on the topic of "Shame". I began to see where this piece was going as eyes poked out behind all the beautiful flowers I felt like it was depicting how we can sometimes hide in life and "Shame" is the culprit. It steals our real identity in Christ. Having experienced this and having to constantly work this out with God and give it over to Him, Pastor Phil's sermon really spoke to me.
When I got married I was full of shame carried over from my past ~ I had all the characteristics of someone holding onto shame. I was shy, self-conscious, vain and passive. I cared so much about what other people thought about me that I would spend hours getting ready just to be perfect on the outside. I felt stupid, uneducated, not good enough. I didn't trust my husband...
The shame I carried wasn't only from the things in my life that I did and regretted (of course I had those things)... but also I held onto shame that wasn't even mine. When I was little I was sexually abused, I was left alone, I was made to feel stupid and worthless (not necessarily put on me by my parents), as I grew up again... abusive boyfriend who cheated and was a compulsive liar (feelings of low self worth grounded into me until I was so little and useless on the inside). Many things contributed to the shame I carried with me everywhere.
Today, I am free of many of those things, Jesus has set me free. I no longer believe that I am stupid nor do I have low self-esteem (at least not to the extent I had). I can take steps on my own and am independant in things that I never used to be. Shame is a heavy burden, one that we are not meant to carry. Jesus died for our shame! He took our shame and bore it on the cross that we might live lives free of it forever. Now we just need to give it to Him and believe that He can take it from us.
For the first time in my life I can breathe a breath of fresh, fresh air. I can hold my head up high and see the sun, the blue sky and hear the birds chirping away...
When you are consumed with fear you cannot see/hear or experience anything else. Give it to Him and see the life you were meant to live.
I pray for you all, may you be very blessed.