Saturday, May 30, 2009
PROMPT: WORKING THROUGH THE TORNADO
I call this prompt "Working Through The Tornado" because that is the only way I can describe it. There was a time in my life when I was consumed with a Tornado of thoughts, emotions, images. I mean I was truly consumed by it. Along with it suicidal thoughts were coming at me from every angle. It was truly something that I would not wish upon my worst enemy.
There is so much in this prompt that I think we might come back to it every now and again. Somehow with all those things consuming me words seemed to flow out of my mind and I put the pen to paper and came up with many poems. I have no idea how I could focus enough to actual complete a poem or how my anxiety was calmed enough that I could actually write down anything. Only through God... that truly is the only way.
I share these poems with you to show you that even when you are consumed by tornados and darkness when your heart and your mind truly wants to heal it will work itself through it all and start producing steps to your healing. (Keep in mind that the poetry was not always good... I am only showing you that it was healing to write down the words).
Forbid my thoughts,
do not call them real!
Their state is not authentic
but a background glance at the truth!
Factual does not always
to commensence antidotes.
A maze of devices
which grasp at true emotions
are masked by perfect fantasies.
Apprehension rings loudly
once a confrontation
takes place in reality.
A spectrum of feelings
ripen within the sphere
around my golden heart.
Heightened libido gives rise
to my still floating dreams
as I walk the clouds
within my head.
No, they will not
overtake my reality!
For I have within myself
the power to decline
and I will!
Kelly L. Watts
NOTE: Even when I was sick I knew that not all my thoughts were real or correct I guess. Many of them were distorted due to my depression but I was determined not to take in all my thoughts as reality! Later on (a few years later) I found a book called "Feeling Good" by David Burns and WOW was it ever helpful in determining my overall mental health and it gave great coping mechanisms. It shows how when we are in the midst of depression we often distort thoughts. There are just so many things in this book that I found helpful and I HIGHLY RECOMMEND THIS BOOK!
HAUNTING MY MIND
Why do I see his face
in my dreams when I sleep?
Why does he always appear
when my state is so weak?
Why can't I just not think,
and never see him there
in my mind, and in my dreams
where I always catch his stare?
He is out of my life,
I thought I had let him go!
Though when he comes back in my dreams,
that is when I know.
That is when I see
he will forever haunt my mind,
and I will never let him go
or any thoughts of this kind.
He may be out of sight,
so I think he'll never be,
though when I lay down to sleep at night,
he always comes back for me.
Kelly L. Watts
(Guess what? He no longer haunts my mind! Thank you God!) I love reading some of my poems like this one because I see that my life has been very victorious when I see that the topic's of certain poetry no longer has a hold on my life!
The pages I posted above were not done during the darkest part of my depression. They were done when I had a little bit of my creativity back. I know that when we are in the midst of darkness it is almost impossible to be motivated or creative. This is why my poetry was so important to me. It was the one way to be creative without having to really be creative - if that makes sense. JUST WRITE IT DOWN AND DON'T WORRY HOW IT COMES OUT, JUST GET IT OUT!
That's my motto!!!!!!
I pray that the Lord uses this prompt for you today to be able to release bits and pieces of your tornado's so that you no longer need to keep them in that little box inside your head, but you can let them go out into the world ready to be recycled into something new and beautiful! AMEN
Friday, May 29, 2009
I have had a bible since I was 11 years old. I would read it, but NEVER understand what it said. It wasn't until after I got married at the age of 24 when a friend said to me, "If you don't understand the Word, ask God to give you wisdom?" I thought, it couldn't be that easy could it? That evening I prayed that God would give me wisdom to understand what I was reading in His Word. All of sudden it was as though the Bible opened up before me and was a living story that I couldn't get enough of.
James 1:5 says this, "If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him." 6 goes onto say, "But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind."
We all need wisdom, especially Godly wisdom to understand not only His Word but everything in this life.
So today's journal prompt is this... Wisdom
Think about the areas of your life where you need wisdom to understand. How can God give you that wisdom? What is wisdom? What is the difference between worldly wisdom and Godly wisdom?
The journal pages I have posted above all have to do with wisdom. They are what I drew when I was thinking about wisdom and what God showed me.
The following is a poem, something the Lord gave me alot of during the darkest periods of my life, when the words came I just would let them flow and sometimes they were great poems and other times I knew they were meant only for my healing.
ONLY IN THE LORD
Follow me, my angel says,
look and you will see.
The signs right in front of you
show you where you want to be.
Don't dwell on the fence,
that will only make you fall.
This is a mere stepping stone
that only feels like a giant wall.
The darkness is not real,
there is not darkness in the Lord.
It's fear implanted in your mind
you can fight off with His sword.
The armor of God awaits you,
put it on and you will see,
that the Lord walks right beside you
and makes the darkness never be.
Relax, my angel tells me.
Enjoy what you will learn,
for in the end it is your faith
that makes these thoughts of no concern.
You will find your peace my child,
I am watching over you.
This is only a phase of life
and I will help you walk right through.
Trust in Him who created you
for He is the only way,
He is the only one,
that makes tomorrow a new day.
Kelly L. Watts
I pray that this prompt helps you to seek the Lord for wisdom in your life. If we begin our journey with Godly wisdom we cannot go wrong. He will lead us, He will guide us and best yet is that we will be able to see things, see ourselves through His eyes.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
This is very strange... I know I posted this already though it didn't show up when I came back to moderate some comments. Very strange.
So the prompt for today is: GOD IS ALWAYS WITH ME Call it ADDITIONS (as I see that the first one posted)
To know that God is with us even in the dark times of our lives is really important too. My journal page for this prompt is this; GOD GROWS ME EVEN WHEN I SLEEP THROUGH LIFE
I was very sick after the birth of my second son. I had post-partum depression. I basically slept for 4 and 1/2 years. I would sleep during the day and be awake by myself at night. I was too sick to take care of my babies or my husband. My husband did everything from providing for the family to being mom, dad, home maker, care giver etc., He has and always will be a God-send to me.
While I was sick there were a few very specific things that God guided me to do;
1. Read the bible ~ even when I was too anxious to see the words; even when I was too depressed or unmotivated to open the bible. I would sometimes just hold onto it knowing the hope it contained.
2. I surrounded myself with praise music. The radio was always on even when I couldn't hear it. Ephesians 6 states that we need to put on our Armor of God because there is a war around us, in us... everywhere. We don't see this war but we are always in battle. Having the music helped to protect me in the times I was battling depression, anxiety, fear, paranoia... lies from the Enemy!
I believe God guided me to do these two things so that I would always know that He, my God, my Heavenly Father was always with me. He helped me to grow even when I slept.
The scripture I found for this page was from Romans 8, nothing can separate us from the Love of God! Not even fear, depression, anxiety, paranoia or lies... NOTHING. God is always with us right through the storms.
I pray that the Lord reveals all the ways He is there for you, that He shows you that you are not, nor have you ever been alone. When we are suffering it is SO hard to see any light at all, but it is there. Pray for strength to get through and don't forget to put on your armor!
I might be posting these prompts everyday but know that you do not need to follow tHhe prompts and do them everyday... it is a journey to healing and you make sure that you follow at your own pace. If it takes a month to do one prompt well then it takes a month. You need to work on you first and foremost. The prompts will always be here when you are ready to do them.
So day 2... I have been thinking about this all night long and that led me to doing my own journal page as I thought about what is important during the healing process. What I determined was to KNOW that God was with me during the darkness was of upmost importance. Therefore today's prompt is;
1. GOD IS WITH ME ALWAYS;
think of ways that God has been with you and how He never leaves you. If it comes out in just words, write them down. If it comes out in a poem or a song, write it down. If it comes out in images, draw them - even if they are not perfect the point is to get it out of your head and onto something concrete so that you can visually see that God is with you.
The scripture I turned to for my journal page is Romans 8:37-39 Nothing can separate us from the love of God...
Maybe spend some time in the Word and in prayer before you start. Ask God to open your eyes to see through His eyes how He is with you.
I pray that this prompt leads you closer to God on your journey to healing.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
I have had a few ladies contact me expressing interest in learning more about healing art journaling. I would just like to say that I have never taught before... my purpose is only to share what God has done in me. There are a few things that need to be done before you can begin the road to healing so we will begin with Day 1: Journal Prompt 1 - Work out your salvation.
1. WORK OUT YOUR SALVATION- know that only Jesus Christ can bring you salvation and eternal life.
John 3:16 "For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son that whosoever believeth in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.
Ideas to work out your salvation: Journal page or pages...
What do I believe and why?
What does my heart tell me?
What does the world tell me?
Where does my salvation come from?
(The above pictures were done as I worked out certain aspects of my salvation and what God has or is or really does for me.) (There are no rules where to start etc.)
I pray that as you begin this journey you are blessed with the Holy Spirit working through you, working out your salvation and placing you at the foot of the cross of Jesus Christ where you will lay all your burdens down. ~ Amen.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
My entire purpose for my art journaling has been for my healing. God has taken me down this road for a long time now. I think I am ready to share my journey to healing with others who need to begin or are going through their own journey's to healing. If you are one of those individual's I would love to share my journey with you. God has comforted me in so many ways, more than I could ever repay. I want to comfort with that same love and give back to Him.
Would you be interested in taking an online "Healing Journaling Course"? If so, please contact me at ksun underscore 1999 at yahoo dot com (all together with symbols). I am trying to see if there is interest out there and if so I would be pleased to teach others.
Monday, May 25, 2009
Thanks to Nina I have a beautiful new signature for my blog. If you are interested in having your very own signature check out her blog and she will make one for you for a donation to her cause (which you will find on her blog). Thanks so much Nina I LOVE my new signature! Thanks Michelle for making me aware of this over on your blog.
Posted by Kelly at 10:10 AM
Sunday, May 24, 2009
What can I say? I thought I was done and then... it sat for a few hours and I came back to it and knew it wasn't finished yet. So... I added the text above the butterfly and the text going down the right side of her and on the bottom of her gown. I do this sometimes. I will think something is finished and then God speaks to me and then I REALLY finish a picture.
Hope you like the finishing touches.
I have been going through some of my writing in my journals and poetry books and I realized how far God has taken me on the path to my healing. I looked at some old pictures and saw how everything on the outside of me looked perfect (not a hair out of place etc.). Then I looked at my eyes and they looked dead. I thought about what I may have been thinking during that time in my life and I know that I was numb. All the pictures during my late teen years were the same,I recall that was a very emotional period of life for me. They were very awkward years of being lost and not knowing who I was. I have learned that as I get older the more I discover who I am and what my purpose is. Life is a learning process and we never stop learning.
I purchased a magazine in the airport last month. It was by Somerset Studios - Artful Blogger. I saw that someone had used a page in a magazine to make the skirt of a dress on their journal page. I thought 'What a great idea!' and knew I had to make one for myself (using my style of coarse as I do not like making things exactly the same as everyone else! lol). I used Tim Holtz Distress Inks for the background colors. My Cuddlebug Curl Alphabet for the lettering. I wrote my thoughts down with Copic gel pens in the background as well.
If you decide to make a picture with this technique I would love to see it! Let me know and send me a link to your blog!
Thursday, May 21, 2009
I have noticed a number of "peekers" looking at my blog and I just want to give you big hugs for stopping by! I have been meaning to update my blog with new art that I am working on but what I am working on is "Top Secret" so-to-speak. I will try to share little snippets here and there.
Lately I have been wandering around other "Art" blogs and have thoroughly enjoyed all the blogs I have come across. Wow! The talent out there blows me away! Thanks to everyone out there who shares there work with the world. I am so inspired as I scroll through all the beauty. I have added some of my new discoveries to my "links" list I follow. Take a look and you will be amazed!
You are all so awesome. Thanks to those of you who have been so kind to leave me wonderful comments.
Happy Creating Everyone and God Bless.
Posted by Kelly at 7:56 AM
Sunday, May 17, 2009
"Let love and faithfulness never leave you, bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. Then you will win favor and a good name with God and with man." Proverbs 3:3-4
This verse has always been special to me, it has helped me to realize the importance of love and faithfulness in our lives. I am churning around the idea of getting "Love and Faithfulness" tatooed on my ankle in a heart shape. I know the idea of getting a tatoo is so final, though it would remind me to always hold them close to my heart hopefully allowing God to always be in my mind.
When I began this journal page I was fiddling around with my skin colored soft pastel for the head and I made it much too big. My son calls this page my 'bobble-head angel' lol. I have been scanning around different sites and have seen many pages with drawings of ladies with bigger heads... so I guess mine just fits in with them. My drawings are not usually so out of proportion ~ in the end however I like the way it turned out. I had fun with the background and the writing. The wings were pretty fun too as I have never really drawn wings before.
Hope you enjoy! Happy creating.
Saturday, May 16, 2009
What is our 'Circle of Influence'? A number of years ago now, our pastor preached a sermon on this very thing. It certainly reached its mark with me when I heard it. He spoke of our 'Circle of Influence' and our responsibility as 'Children of God' to basically maintain it. The circle contains all the people God has placed in our lives from the moment we were born until the moment we leave this earth. The numbers could shock you if you were to write down every person that has ever crossed your path! I don't think I will even try to wrap my brain around that one!
Sometimes God will place people in our lives for only a moment; and others a lifetime. Maybe the reason is for our benefit and maybe it has nothing to do with us at all! I have had individuals come into my life for only a season and then we have never spoken again ~ it was during that season that God's purpose was set in place and/or possibly established in that either I or the other person received or had given what they were meant to receive or give.
I know that with every person God sends to me it is for His good and perfect purpose that they are in my life and I will do my best to be the light that God has made me to be in order to be used by God to bring Him all the Glory.
When I look around me I begin to see people a little differently... I try to see them through God's eyes and I try to understand the reason they are in my life.
In 1 Corinthians there is a passage that says something like this... 'that we should comfort those who are hurting with the same comfort we ourselves received when we were hurting'. I know that I have received comfort in abundance through the years and all my comfort has come from Him either directly from Him or through the people He has blessed me with. My job now is to comfort those He sends to me with that same comfort reaching out into my 'Circle of Influence' to bring His love to all.
Saturday, May 9, 2009
In Arizona I found an 11"x14" hard cover spiral bound sketch book/art journal. I usually work with only 8x10's or 8x12's so it was a little difficult getting used to so much space. I am also learning to blend colors as I have seen some beautiful art work blending copic markers - I have a long way to go. I am having fun with it. The theme of this one: "Find What You Love"... more and more I want to concentrate on the good things in my life. Recording what I love for when I can't remember everything! LOL. Color is really important to me as it makes me happy and so with this page I wanted to concentrate on bright springy colors, flowers and lot's of texture.
I hope you like it!
Sunday, May 3, 2009
We just landed in Calgary from a two week trip to Arizona... the sun is shining and we are doing good... why then is my head so full of stuff that it feels like there is a tornado working overtime on my brain? I guess the saying, "out of sight out of mind" really is true because I barely thought of anything when we were away. Now my mind is working hard at something... I feel really creative like I want to write a book. I am serious... I do want to write a book. I think I will get started this week! LOL. I don't want to write a novel but a book on Art Journaling. I would love to help others find their way through depression by art journaling. Yep, that's the plan.
Happy Creating everyone!
Saturday, May 2, 2009
Well we are back from our Arizona trip well rested and glad to be home. It was the perfect amount of days (11) as we were able to do what we wanted to do in those days and my family was a little tired out. We had a fabulous time and have determined that we will be going back next Spring Break when the kids are off school. The boys played well together (mostly), we had wonderful quality family time either in the pool or playing games in the condo, or discovering Phoenix and Scottsdale. I spent a lot of time at the pool soaking up some sun and journaling.
The three journal entries above are the one's I was working on during the trip. The first one was a page I started on my first trip to Arizona with my girlfriend Kelly, (as you can see we did a whole lot of shopping on that trip). The second was an entry I started before the trip inspired by another artist's entry from Blissfully Art Journaling (a Yahoo group I belong to)... it turned out to be completely different than the one on the groups pages though I think that is the point, you don't want to just copy another artist's work~ you want to create from within yourself and this is what came out of me. I was really struggling with my moods at the time of this entry and felt like I was all over the place, up and down etc. I really like how this entry turned out as it is full of color.
The last entry was from our trip this time around. I tried to capture some of the textures and art of Scottsdale with the lizards and such. I was salivating over all the beautiful art and architecture once again ~ everything is so gorgeous and peaceful and clean. My husband did not do too well in the heat as he broke out in thick hives on his upper body which made him very uncomfortable. He also broke out like this when we went to Hawaii but I forgot all about that when I booked this trip~ duh! He got on the proper med's to bring his rash down and was still able to enjoy the vacation as it was only extremely hot during the first week and then was mostly okay for him during the second. He did have to close himself into the condo for a few days but he was able to truly relax which we all really needed to do.
I worked on a few other pages while at the pool or on the patio at the condo though I did not finish them yet. I will be posting more soon.
Happy creating everyone!